…of not posting on my Blog.
Note: I am not expecting this post to be a happy one.
The note up there is to let me know at the end if I was able to succeed or not.
So, here I go…
I feel absolutely incomplete without this ability to write. I did get some time during these days when I wanted to write something for this space, but all I could do was… write 2-3 lines and then delete them. They were not able to please me as a writer (I am not pleased with these ones either). I wanted to write about things that were happening in life, but there is hardly anything which is worth sharing with you guys apart from the mess all around. I needed a break…big time…as in BIGGG TIMEE, but all plans got cancelled. I needed someone to listen quietly to my cribbing, but infact got more distant to some I thought would listen. I needed someone to understand what I am going through, how I feel about everything that’s changing and that’s stagnant around me, but all I got were more questions and logics. I always avoided ‘logical reasoning’ when it came to my friends and then I realized that even the same expectations reduce your joys and can set the temper soaring. I avoided referring friends as Best Friends cos none of my Best Friends so far showed up when I needed them. But then I thought that there is one and I should not blame her for my past experiences. I think I should have learnt something from past experiences but I seem to be doing the same mistake again and again. Emotions do make you handicapped and I don’t have an option but to live with it.
I remain silent when I want to talk and talk just to avoid questions about my silence.
There is something wrong, something is missing, there is something that I am not able to understand about my self, something that I am not able to express, there is something that’s creating a void or rather making it grow….there definitely IS something…
PS. I would want to acknowledge the efforts of 2 of my friends who have been making constant efforts to keep me sane in the midst of everything…Thanks Shivani and Thanks Purba 🙂