I think I did something wrong today….intentions were not wrong though.
And yeah, its related to someone I have been talking excitedly about over some time in my posts.
Few days back he told me that he was upset and as I always am excited to know about him I asked about the reason only if it wasn’t personal. I heard him say that though it is a bit personal but he would share. I dint ask further at that time thinking that he would whenever he is comfortable, but I was happy with the fact that atleast he thought of sharing something personal. Now today when we were talking through electronic means of communication over a social networking site I reminded him about that instance and then he told me the reason. It was something related to a relationship in the past. Jokingly, I asked something in a very light manner (as per me) to know the number of girlfriends he had in the past…to which I got the answer “she was the first one and we were together for about 5 years” the moment I read this I realised that I might have hurt him with the way I have been treating the conversation…suddenly I felt guilty. I’m sure he wont even let me know if he was disturbed with my choice of words and that made me feel even more guilty. This was probably the first time we talked about something other than the usual stuff and I goofed up…I always do…and then complain…
I often find myself in such a situation whenever there are discussions about relationships…I have never been in one like this. I am sure it hurts way beyond words…I have seen friends cry after break ups…though I haven’t experienced, but I surely can feel their pain. Though I wanted to tell him that I am shocked to know about the mistake she has done by leaving you, I gave it another thought and stopped. If he was upset that means he still has feeling for her and if I say something like that he might not take it. Moreover, I have no right to say anything about any of them in this matter. I just hope he is over his past….and concentrates about his future…after all his present has Me…which might be there in the future too !!!! 😛
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