Mi was not able to comprehend the way life works. It was in the middle of the night that she was sitting on her bed…. crying. When the whole world was sleeping, in the middle of the snores of her Dad she was trying to figure out why life turns her way to eM or why she sees/meets eM after every few turns of her life?
eM probably was one person on earth she loved immensely… its only that she did not get enough opportunities to express it to him. Neither was he interested in those findings. It’s been more than a decade for Mi and she still is not able to succeed in letting him go out of her mind and heart. She tried her best though and her friends helped her too, to forget eM.
It all started in adolescence, when she saw him for the first time. May be it was love at first site, cos if it had been a well decided ‘fall’; her efforts to come out of it would pay results too. Mi, in her innocent own ways tried to strike a conversation with eM many a times… to know him better and to let him meet the other side of her at the same time. Her continuous efforts were rather nagging for eM. He, the dude he was; made it very clear to Mi that she can’t force him to fall in love with her. Poor Mi, she never wanted to make it look like a ‘push’, she just wanted him to know about this weird girl who loved him like crazy, who waited for hours in the balcony just have a look at him…who would forget the world and dance if he happen to cross her way, who would just recognize eM even by his shadow, who just needed the company of eM to spend rest of her life without any demands, dreams and wishes, who would believe that all her wishes were answered if eM would happen to be in her life. She pulled herself back from his life and he made efforts too, to let her pull back. Like Mi, who would dial the number of her ‘silver lining’ without giving it a second thought during a dark/gloomy day; eM would either disconnect or ignore the call unintentionally. Mi never felt this insulted and helpless in her life as in those moments, when she thought that may be eM would pick the call up to make her smile during the bad day; his voice was enough for her. Mi kept failing in keeping him out of her mind, but eM succeeded in making her stop those efforts to be a part of his life.
Years passed by, eM initiated a conversation once…which led to a meeting too; making Mi more confused. By the time she would get a solution to this, she found herself believing that they both could be friends if not lovers. eM parted ways with her girlfriend and probably needed support of someone who would accept him the way he is. Soon Mi was informed about a new budding relationship, which came into existence even sooner. And then the vicious circle started again…of ignored calls and no responses. Mi dint complain and stopped at the cross road making him cross the road with the new found love of his life. When Mi was merely a contact number lying in his phonebook, she decided to take a step forward by ceasing all contacts and as she believed in Good-Byes, eM was informed about her decision.
And today, when she got a message from him she is not able to decide what to do. A friend asked her not to reply at all, the other asked her to behave as if she misplaced his number…Mi knew that if she followed any of it, she would be cheating to herself as for the fact it doesn’t matter if she has a saved number or not cos she remember his number by heart. Her mind instructed her to go with what friends said but heart questioned her if she could do this to him? She wondered what made him make that effort while she tried to divert the thoughts of calling him up. Sooner she surrendered and made a call which wasn’t picked; hence she left a message hoping for everything to be fine with him. There wasn’t any response as expected, but Mi was worried and prayed for things to be in place for him. As otherwise she wouldn’t have been contacted.
A day or two later Mi dialed up his number again with the surety of not being picked, but to her surprise it was answered. And that one voice which could bring her back from any blues said “Hello”. Mi wondered at her skills of not-being-able-to-ignore-eM but then she herself accepted the fact to her friend that she simply cannot do anything to ignore him moreover she wanted to be that one last hope for him if he happened to be in trouble. And there it was….trouble!!!!
eM played an action replay of all the events that took place during all these years of not talking and some of them were more than enough to give Mi a shock. eM lost his degree of Bachelor and was trying to be a good Master. But then difficulties confronted him and he found himself in the middle of the storm… alone. He was back from his Hell trip and was again at the verge of being a single. Mi was a little different this time as the thought of being taken for granted was troubling her. She for the fact knew that eM would never be there for her at the time of need and had an option to step back and disappear from the situation. Of course she opted for the other option of being there, with the thought that she would be ignored again anytime or may be once there is a girl in his life. But little did she know that She was the girl this time!!!!
Soon after this call they met and Mi was made to feel better by acknowledging each of her feeling. She was surprised but was happy to hear that. Soon the first meeting turned into second and the second into third and so on…
Though things were pacing up between the two, Mi made sure not to expect anything out of it cos she never trusted her stars. It was 14th Feb…The Valentine’s Day when she found out that a place has been reserved for her in her favorite restaurant for Lunch. She happened to reach on time to find eM waiting for her already. Though they dint say anything to each other about how they felt…though there were no gifts exchanged to make a mark of V-Day…though there were no questions, one thing was clear that Mi was the happiest person on earth and was thanking her stars for bringing eM back in her life.
Half a year went by and it was Mi’s birthday. eM did not wish her yet. “It must have skipped out of his mind in the midst of all office work.”, she thought to herself and smiled with the thought of punishment that she has decided to offer him. She was getting ready for the day. She wasn’t used to this attire at all…so she was wondering if eM would like it. But then, the Tom Boy she is; the salwar-kameez today would definitely be like a good change for her special day. She wore a pink Patiala salwar with white kameez, she adorned herself with some light ethnic jewellery and kohl for her eyes. Indian attire was eM’s favorite, with those blonde looks Mi took a risk of experimenting with it and looked beautiful. She drove off to his office with a bunch of Red Carnations at the back seat. She parked the car and before she could come out, she noticed him in the rear view mirror with some stuff…trying to open his car door. She got out quickly and opened the door for him. eM was taken aback with her presence and told her that he was thinking of meeting her in the evening as he had something important to talk about. Mi knew what that important ‘something’ was and gave him that look to relax. Before she could move back to her car to bring that bunch of red carnations she found someone standing next to her looking at both eM and Mi with a shock. It was eM’s wife Lucy, staring at Mi with those degrading looks. Lucy was about to say something when eM interrupted, “Lucy…you know Mi right?? She is here to collect the payment cheque of her dance troupe, which performed at our annual office meet. That’s how I got to meet her after a long time” and he smiled at both of them. He handed over an envelope to Mi, saying that it has the cheque. “Catch ya later Mi, we have a flight to catch in few hours…going for a much needed vacation you know after a prolonged fight”, he winked at Lucy with a smile who responded by hugging him tight with a peck on his lips. Mi was not able to collect all that was happening in front of her…she had no clue about the humiliating way Lucy looked at her…she had no clue how Lucy came in picture….she had no clue if it was a dream or a reality!!!
The couple said bye to Mi and went off…Mi did notice the smirk on Lucy’s face while she turned her back at Mi along with her Husband. Mi slowly dragged herself to her car, where she found the Red Carnations at the back seat. She pulled the bunch out and kept it at the space eM’s car was parked. She then noticed the envelope in her hand that eM gave. It had something other than a cheque…she took that off. It was a letter, eM’s letter…
I don’t know if I have the courage to admit this to you or not…that’s the reason I am taking shelter of this letter.
All these months spent with you were delightful and would always be fresh in my memory. You are a lovely girl and I still wonder how can you love someone selfish, ignorant, and arrogant like me? But you do…and if you think I don’t know about it then let me tell you that I do. I appreciate each and every effort that you made in last few months as every effort made Lucy come closer to me. As you know me and Lucy had a big fight, Lucy went to her parents place after that and was not ready to come back. I made every possible effort but nothing changed. Then I tried to make her feel jealous by being with you, as I knew there would be someone giving her all updates about me. So, if I spend time with you she would get the news that I am spending time with a girl. She would feel insecure and might give me another chance if she loves me…which I was sure she does.
Now as she is back in my life, I might not be able to spend the same amount of time with you as I used to…infact I might not be able to keep in touch much…you know how girls and their insecurities are…She is no different, infact is steps ahead of many…hope you understand sweety! : )
Thank You for being there in my life when I did not have the courage to reach out to anyone else. I am sorry for not informing you about this as I thought you might disagree to play this act to bring her back…and you were my only hope…
I hope you would forget me for this…you are a sweetheart I know…
Take Care and Thanks a tonn,
Mi wondered whether she should be happy or sad about this certificate of her efforts which apparently was her first gift on her 30th Birthday…