When your armour needs protection

I remember, as a child there was a time when I was extremely ill for about a whole year. Couldn’t attend school for almost one and a half month, had no energy to sit through the classes for long hours of school. Had no link with friends, thanks to rarity of telephone connections that inspite of a landline at home I could not talk to others. Once my dad was on a tour and I was missing him badly. It added to my already low mood and I started crying, my worried mother held a 10th class feeble figure in her arms and consoled me. Played tricks with me “I know you love your father completely and not me!” Sooner than she could have imagined I was smiling and she was smiling with me.

When tables turn, you develop that parental feeling for your parents. They protected you all their lives and then there comes a moment when you stand as a protector next to them.

I, in no way can compare the two roles. As an observer, I feel being parent to a child is difficult. You need to secure the innocence of a child from harsh realities and at the same time enable them to face the difficult of times with courage. It is like drawing a masterpiece on a blank canvas; where you can use the colors you like, give shapes you like…follow any approach you like.

Being a parent to your own parents is even more difficult and requires more effort. It is damn difficult to stand strong for those who have been your strength. It is like finding a balance of their approach and ours, their thoughts and ours, it is like giving an old masterpiece of painting a new look.

A day back, I witnessed departing of a soul from body. Dad was there too. It is all a matter of minutes. I heard this man talking on the phone with a family member very cheerfully half an hour back, and 45 minutes later he was declared dead. I was shaken inside out, but could not let my father know about it. I knew he was shaken too, it became evident when we came back home. I managed to calm him down and cheered him up too. I know how difficult it is to talk to someone who already has been wise enough to understand the matters of life cycle. I could have cried howling, for what I was very disturbing. I know I can’t manage to cry anymore. It is not the time for me to be weak. I need to protect my protector from all the negative thoughts.

Tough times, but I am gonna make it through…sooner than expected!!!

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