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Read between the lines

09-01-2013 22-59-34

 

 

When it comes to theory everyone prefers to be ‘direct’. Oh yes, its The Flashy word these days; an ornament that people believe to ‘wear’ to be ‘in fashion’. On the contrary the reality is still the same, people still talk behind your back. This is not new; I have been meeting such people every now and then. We all do, isn’t it? So what makes me write this post today?

Well….this is my ‘enough is enough’ post. You may want to skip it if you think that you would feel ‘offended’ with the introduction of my darker shade.

I am usually a patient person; there already is so much happening in my life leaving no time to dissect somebody else’s. Neither am I interested. You are good to me, I am good to you – is what I try to follow. In fact, at times I have given so much benefit of doubt to certain people that I ended up getting hurt. There of course are few that I came across, who I simply don’t want around, basically the fake ones. You know, there always are few attention seekers and the ones who are extra sugary to you in front and are bitchy for sure at the back. I find it better to keep distance from such people. It might be a regular practice for them to fake smile and concern, but I can’t do it; unless it’s professionally required. Being a professional we often are forced to be nice to people we can’t stand even for a minute. I ensure not to drag the ‘formality’ to my personal life. I feel sad to realize that life has become a business; we fake our concerns too much in professional life that we become bound by it. I know people who back stab those so called ‘close friends’ who adorned them in their profile pictures. And then they preach about how essential it is to be amiable with them for professional health (even on Facebook??).

We often fail to judge people, I do too. I have a track record suggesting not to trust anyone further, but then I think of not punishing everyone because of one.

The recent stint was strange. I never met such kind of person before. Someone I knew for over a year. She has been through a lot of ups and downs in her personal life. And at the same time has been a gossip stock for many. I preferred not to be a part of gossips and not to judge her on the basis of them. She was nice to me and beyond that it’s her life and her decisions. I wonder if she ever came across anything wrong said by me for her. But do such people consider that? Now I know that they don’t.

So this girl introduced me to a friend and later asked me if I liked him. Suggestions to meet him further were made too. “Teri baat chalau?” is something so often used by people that it makes me wonder why aren’t they getting into match-making? Anyways, my answer of course was a NO. Moreover, it wasn’t difficult for me to judge from his smile that he liked this girl.

Days went by and he was mentioned at some occasion in conversations. I added the guy on FB after few conversations through her. I have been a part of community sites and blogging world for over a decade now. And I have met numerous people online, some turned out to be great friends in real life, both male and female. I got to learn from the rest. Hence, nothing to hype it for me. Sometime back when I got the chance to interact with the girl, she told me that she was proposed by this guy. I reminded her of my words few months back. Now, I doubt if she was correct.

Later, I got to know that I was being accused of adding this guy on FB and was in fact portrayed as someone who tried to hit on him. “What the fuck?” was of course my first reaction.

I found it amusing how easy it must have been for her to say such things for me, that too when she has been the one provoking me. A girl who kept telling me how everyone talked behind her back and what all they talked about; there were words spoken against her in front of her too. And of all the people, I was being blamed by her.

Some people are so clever, there are few I know who have been making me ‘famous’ with their versions of stories just because I am not there to share the reality. And I pity those who trust them even after knowing the situations.

I was furious, of course. And I expressed it through a status update on FB. I often do this. Technology sometimes is such a boon. In FB era, one doesn’t have to keep it inside. Share it with the world; even Facebook wants to know everything that bothers you. I love this part about myself. Once someone plays a game with me and succeed, I don’t let them repeat it. Then it’s “Shut the fuck up!” stage.

Few things I want to make very clear to such people:

1)     I have the very right to kick you out of my life without giving explanations. I am very sure who I want to be associated with, and my life functions fantastic without you.

2)     If you feel offended by my status updates and think that I am too direct

  1. That’s what I call a guilty conscious, I neither mentioned you nor tagged you. I just expressed my feelings in words.
  2. Thank my decency that I don’t believe in taking names on such forums. But if the limits are crossed, I might forget this too.

3)     If you think you have the liberty to cook stories and lie about me behind my back, then I DO have the very right to express myself.

4)     I don’t need to talk to you again or ‘try’ to resolve it because I don’t want to resolve it.

5)     I won’t delete you from my friend’s list, I would rather make you read my future status updates (posted for you).

This one is especially for those who are not single and think that my single status is a threat to their relationships

1)     I have absolutely NO interest in ‘stealing’ your boyfriend or husband or whatever.

2)     I do have a spine to follow my principles.

3)     I do have a class and conscious, AND you are rather a threat to it.

 

SO…Just back off and think before you speak crap about someone who was harmless or else be ready for the standing ovation of middle finger!!!!

Being male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age..but being a gentleman is a matter of choice!!

I

She struggled to live right from the moment she was born. They were all men who were after her life. Even her mother could not say a word when she was taken away to either bury alive or burnt alive. A girl child has always been a burden in an under-developed society. There is no count of how many girl children are killed before and after their birth. Though female foeticide is illegal in India and so is killing female child, but can we vouch for the fact that this law is being followed religiously????

No…we can’t. There still are some illiterate, uncivilized, brutal people who think that a girl is a burden. Amongst many illiterate men, unfortunately there are some women too.

Thanks to our ancestors for such bad gender ratio in India.

We have 933 girls in India per 1000 boys.

We have cases where old parents are sent to old-age homes, but we still want a son. Every year we are creating new records of rape and molestation cases in every part of India. These are being executed by the male specie…yet boys are great!! I am not including cases of robbery, fraud, theft etc , though they are male dominant, however now female intervention is towards the higher side as compared to the previous few years.

II

It was a chilly day in December when a female dog gave birth to 6 puppies. They were cute. Soon small kids from each corner of the locality started gathering to play with them. Some would bring food to feed them.

There were people who tried their best not to let winters affect those tiny pups and they succeeded. They had left an old blanket for them, which was the shelter for the female dog and her puppies. People who resided in the locality would feed them with warm milk, bread or chapatti every day. But one day while these puppies were playing in the play ground adjacent to the bushes where they resided, few teens came at high speeds on their bikes; apparently exhibiting some stunts. In the race to come first and become popular they dint realise when their bikes minced 2 pups. Since this accident, the female dog frantically kept her remaining 4 away from everyone else, even those who fed them initially. Few people tried to give some food to the pups as they grew weaker, but ended up in a clinic after the dog’s bite. Gradually situation worsened and those 4 pups kept dying one by one, cos of hunger and extreme cold.

III

Be it the golden era or the millennium era, a man has been known for his Casanova instinct. Playing with hearts and breaking them was a common phenomenon. And now when women have decided to walk alongside them in every sphere, they have problems. I would call it nothing but male ego, which make one shut his eyes and mouth for what a man has done. He makes a mountain out of a molehill if a woman outshines him….especially when he has been the victim.

Ok now coming to the point… I have encountered so many immature men of lately that I thought of bringing together my scattered thoughts to one place.

Read this Facebook status few days back from one of the persons whom I considered mature than the existing lot of his age group.

“All girls are basically in competition with each other for a handful eligible boys or men. I must say they are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts & pheromones. They have 2 faces that decide their mind. Head – They go for money. Tail – They go for money. Haha :-). So, supply of good girls far exceeds that of the boys who deserves them. Indeed true. Believe me”

I DISAGREE and DISLIKE….

First of all… all fingers of our hands are not the same and neither are all individuals.

Why do people come up with a statement directed to the whole lot? I know these statements arise mainly because of heartbreaks. Either one liked someone and was not paid much attention to or was simply fooled/hurt. But is that a reason to accuse the whole segment? Just because you still haven’t developed the sense of recognising these bad people and then don’t know how to deal with them, you would go on making statements for the whole lot. If men are such losers then they better accept it and work upon it rather than accusing women for the same. Section 2 simply depicts that we can’t cut ourselves from a particular segment if one person out of the lot has done something wrong. Human beings have brains so that they can think and judge, otherwise there wouldn’t be any difference between us and that female dog.

Second… Girls don’t have to indulge into competition; there are enough boys they can choose from.

Thanks to all the men mentioned in Section 1.

Third …usage of the word “supply” makes one feel as if a pimp is talking…

I wonder if men with such a thought process would remain bachelors for the rest of their lives or would they continue to pass such comments once they are married.

Are all men Dogs????

Inspite of all the reasons to say Yes, I would still say No. Just because of bad men…A few good men should not be ignored.

Fourth …There is nothing wrong in making such statements, but one should not generalise it cos even you wouldn’t want to pay for someone else’s sins. And if you are not mature enough to choose the right words…STAY OUT OF IT !!!!!

Love…

…. is all about searching that one person in front of whom you don’t have to portray to be strong.

It’s good to shed a tear or two sometimes, it okay to howl if you feel like …let the dirt inside you come out in a way which doesn’t harm anyone, not even you. Don’t keep it in, cos when it blasts it just leave the pieces behind…which can’t be put into the same shape again.

I wonder if there ever would be a person who would make sense out of my non-sense, who would read my eyes before I could even comprehend to utter in words, who would have the magic to heal me with a touch or a hug, with whom I can share xyz without being judge later, who would not ask me to do this or that…would rather take my hand and walk the distance with me.

Too much…isn’t it?? But I wish there is someone like this out there… 🙂

Things That Make Me Hold On..

We do get stuck sometime in our lives at some point, this one is that point in mine.

Life has stuck like a rear tyre of a car in mud, I am pushing the accelerate as hard as I can but the tyre just keeps spinning at the same place….giving some nudge to the ‘car’ at regular intervals, but doesn’t get out of the trap.

So there is hardly anything that helps me climb that one step up the ladder, but there sure are certain things that help me stick to the same one…at least I’m not climbing down.

When I sit down and think about these things I wonder how exactly they work to keep me pepped up to make sure that I don’t fall down…these are random things.

One out of which is very obvious…you all know about it…and must be looking forward to see that in the list…

So its here…right at the top 😀

It’s not actually a ‘thing’, as he is a living being…

His sight makes me smile and then, I wish for the time to stop so that I can continue looking at him without disturbance… like right now… he is right in front of me…with every pause in whatever I am writing I take a break and look at him…without being noticed by him of course!!! 😦

Btw…kisi ne theek hi kaha hai…great people think alike…we both are wearing the same combination today 😀 😀

So, this was one fact which solely can make me carry on….

Next is… hold your breath!!! It’s a very chic thing and some of you might raise your eyebrows… my nail paints…in every possible color 🙂 …and I experiment a lot with them…

My weighing machine contributes too….sometimes though, but most of the times it brings that expression of guilt as I am not following the plan religiously 😦 … I surrender to temptations quite often these days (only in case of food eh!! Hold on to your horses of imagination 😛 )

Anyway, I enjoy this surrender too 😉

Next in the list is something that gives me an instant kick 😀

Trips to malls…as I am on my way to lose some weight I enjoy trying different outfits which I only use to admire on the mannequin till now. Though I don’t buy them but the fact that they fit in and its just the matter of few more months to buy them gives me immense happiness… 😀

Weather is another contributor… I enjoy talking a walk on the terrace with my phone and the songs saved in it… I dare to sing along too, after making sure that no ones around on the adjacent terraces 🙂

Joey… though I don’t meet him often but whenever I do, its altogether a different experience. It gives me a satisfaction of being with Dino again 🙂

My very own Fun Club. It’s a small team of few associates who plan and organize ‘fun @ work’ events for a group of 150+ associates. I love to see people smile after every such event 😀

August in itself is a great motivator as all my close friends were born in this month… though it’s a month of huge expense; I like the process of thinking about how to make them smile the whole day 🙂

How can I forget Movies??? Yeah…Movies!!! I am Mad Over Movies… and I enjoy every bit of my theatre experience 🙂 …without popcorn though 😛

AND…last but not the least, all the compliments that I get from people around send me to Cloud # 9 🙂 … as if all my hard work is paying off. Almost everyday I hear something nice, which makes me 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 – like this…

*Touchwood* for all this factors to grow more in my life…to keep me sane 🙂

As of now… I am just Holding On!!!

PS. And the coming extended weekend is also in the list… I am hoping to take a break with a short trip of 2-3 days. Any suggestions near Delhi?? We plan to leave on Friday and come back by Monday.

I am alive…

…yeah, I really am!!! Struggling to find sometime for myself and for blogging. If I ever get some time I prefer to lie down…silently. Feeling each breath.. realising that I am alive…searching for the purpose of this life… I talk to myself more often these days, trying to understand what is it that I want… and what is it that I do for the same…

A lot of things are happening in my life right now… a LOT of them. Sometimes I think that I am getting burdened with the ‘overwhelming’ response that I am getting from people around and from my life…and sometime I think I need more of it to feel better…

I was never this busy…never ever… Dino made me do this to myself… I wanted to be busy as I wanted my mind to be occupied by some thoughts every second of the day…leaving no time to think about the fact that Dino is no more… but I failed…..mind is such a clever thing… inspite of all the busyness it steals time from time itself to think about him… but now I have kind of made a pact with his memories…sometimes when they flood in and I feel that I am about to break-out… I instruct my mind to send them back… and it does… thus letting me behave sane amidst the group of all sane and sophisticated people.  Mind, inspite of being clever; sometimes listens to me…. But heart is vague, even after all these years I couldn’t understand what does it want?? I know… I know… Dil toh bachcha hai jee… but mine behaves like an adult too… sometimes it demands to be pampered and the rest of the times it asks for someone whom it could pamper… sometimes it cries for me and most of the times for others… mind instructs heart everytime it is about to fall… but then…seems that the heart is deaf… it never listens to the wise advice…

 

I fall somewhere between this agruement of mind and heart… trying to figure out what is it that keeps me alive… and IF I actually am alive…?? I believe that till the time I feel sensitive about things around me I would be alive…and let me tell you the fact that I am over-sensitive about everything around me… so when someone took (read stole) my earphones from my desk I felt terrible… they were my favorite… only if someone could realise it… people often told me to keep them in bag..but then I always thought that they were safe even if they lie on my desk as I dint expect someone to do such an act which I couldn’t even dream of doing… but then 1) life goes exactly opposite of what I expect and 2) everybody is not me… anyhow, a lesson learnt and routine changed accordingly… now I keep the other set of earphones in my bag. I dint respond to the idea of floating a mail for my earphones to everyone on the floor, as the person who took them might feel offended… heights!!! Isn’t it??

Kya Pehena Hai Aaj Aapne??

…errr…well.. I don’t know what’s cooking up in your mind with that title…I certainly felt it to be cheesy enough to attract the attention 😛

 No… This is not about my clothes or anybody’s ‘clothes’ for that matter. I was about to take up something which has consumed my happy Friday for God’s sake…!!!

Those of you who are working in a corporate world must be familiar with the term… “The Dress Code Policy”. Eh? Yeah?? Kuchh yaad aaya??? Yess…..exactly that’s what I am talking about. Kapdoan ki policy in aajkal ki corporate duniya.

Well…. I must have said it THOUSAND times…and even if I repeat it for next THOUSAND days even then it wont be able to explain How Much I MISS My College Life 😦

There were no tensions…no discussions about what is wearable. Though there were gentle reminders from the Teachers to those who would make sure they dress up like those in TV but then it was their headache… I was never among those.

I know what I can carry off well….and I chose my option with in that range only.

Anyways…coming back to the dress code policy…I wonder why round neck T-Shirts are a strict NO?

Well … I am sure the policy has been drafted by someone without any internal and external influence…but then what’s the logic of banning round necks?

I think these are the best options for girl… where there are chance of some ‘showing off’ in V neck, U neck and boat neck…round one is safe enough.

People had numerous questions around the policy…what to and what not to…wear? Well…isn’t it simple…we are intelligent enough to differentiate between the formal wear and casual wear… I was slightly frustrated with such questions cos they had no logic. And they were consuming my precious Friday… which I don’t intent to spend in a meeting room filled with people…specially when I am the one who’s out of the group… has no questions, understands that ‘A Policy Is A Policy’ (o k a y …. M a d a m !?!?) and have already thought of my options to work around the same. I love round neck Tees with nice messages on them….and of course am not going to stop wearing them cos of some policy…. I would of course wear them with a shirt over it or beneath it…so that the COLLARS ARE VISIBLE…..

All they need is a collar (LOL….hehehe 😉 … really??? 😛 ) …. Apart from everything else 🙄

And yeah by the way… I Love the Khadi feel…specially on Fridays…when it coupled with a pair of jeans… reminds me of college… and it’s just awesome when you wear an oversized long black khadi kurta along with jeans and a small teeka on forehead (they have no policies about the teeka…yaay!!!) … and when people refer you as Ms.Vaastav…all you wanna ask is “Meri gun kahan hai???”

😆